Growing older

On Saturday January 24th I will be 35 years old. Not that age really matters to me anymore. Birthdays only seem to be of any importance when they are special milestones and most of those happen in childhood. I remember that turning 10 was an awesome birthday because I was now in the "double digits". Turning 13 was another milestone because then I was finally a "Teenager". Sixteen, of course, was monumental because, well, I was 16 (and not too sweet either). LOL! Naturally, my 18th birthday was a huge deal to me because I was "officially an adult". Twenty one is another big birthday but I had just found out I was pregnant with Tanner so I didn't even get to have a drink to celebrate the fact that I was finally "of drinking age". After that, I quit caring about birthdays. I assumed turning 30 would have been difficult because you are leaving your youth behind or something silly like that but to me, it was just another number. Internally, I still feel 18. My mind feels as young and vibrant as I did when I was in high school. The only difference is that my body does not reflect the same youthful appearance. LOL!

I remember sitting down with my grandfather and asking him what his internal age was. You know what he told me? He told me 24. I was a little taken aback but in a way, not too surprised all at the same time. He explained to me that we are who we are. There comes a point of time in our life when we wake up and become adults. It doesn't happen the moment you turn of legal age, for some it happens earlier for others later. The important thing is that it happens to all of us when "we wake up and smell the coffee". When life seems to take on new meaning. When we realize that we are who we make ourselves, when we know that our actions and choices we make will change our lives in positive and negative ways. When that happens, we are mentally fixed to that age forever.

Once I discovered that my grandfather and I were peers in our internal age, our relationship changed. Instead of just the grandfather - granddaughter relationship, we became friends. I feel blessed to have been fortunate enough to know him this way. It has also helped me realize that growing older does not matter. Age is only a number, a natural progression. Who we are is what really matters.