Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Deep Thoughts

How many of us ended up being the person we imagined we would be when we were kids? I had great ambitions of becoming an attorney, but that didn't quite work out as I had planned. Not that I'm complaining...ok, maybe I am just a little bit cause that big attorney salary would be pretty sweet right about now. LOL! Do you ever sit back and think "who have I become?" or "how did I get here?" - not necessarily in a negative tone either. I mean come on, who in their right minds ever thought I would end up creating scrapbook kits and riding motorcycles? Definitely NOT me or anyone that knew me. Honestly I never wanted to get married or have kids. I wanted to be the type of person that allowed my career to take me everywhere I wanted to go and I didn't care who I had to step on to get there....I am not that person anymore. I can't imagine my life any different that it is now. My husband and my boys are my entire world and I think they have turned me into a more compassionate, honest, caring person. I recently signed up on Facebook and I see the names of all the people that I went to school with and I am half tempted to contact some of them and then again not because I am not that person that I used to be. I'm sure we all have our regrets, things we wish we could go back and change...I know I do. I don't associate with hardly anyone I knew back then, because I am not the person I once was. For those of you that didn't know me in school, well, don't think that I was some horrible person, I wasn't. I just wish I could do things over. But that gets me wondering...if there were a way to go back and change things...would you? Do the things that happen to us make us the people that we are? Or do the things happen to us because of who we have already become? I have pondered that question a lot. I believe in Karma, to a degree. I believe that what comes around goes around...but what about those that don't deserve bad things and they happen to them anyway? Is it luck, chance, or fate that works its hand? Is there just evil running a muck that causes the horrible things to happen to good people? Do we control our own fate or is our destiny all laid out before us and we are just following it along on its unvarying path? I am a Christian so I do have faith and I do believe that my life has purpose...I just have no idea what it is. Was I put here to be a mother to boys, to give them life so they can continue to populate the earth? Was I put here to marry the man of my dreams and live a complete and fulfilling life? Yeah, I like that answer but is it the right one? Ok, enough deep thoughts tonight...

3 comments:

Bones said...

You rock, Flasher... I just love you to death! And yes, I believe we all have a purpose on earth. I believe that if we live a good and honest life (honest with oneself is the only way to start), we will receive the benefits of this life. Life is certainly not fair - from a human standpoint, but it's the afterworld that counts - and I am firm believer that what we do here on earth will have consequences in the afterworld...

Keep up the healthy thoughts, my friend. Love to you!

Bones

jan williams said...

WOW, Chantele you are deep girl! I have those same thoughts... I am beginning to think that my purpose here was to have children and grandkids, but what else, there just has to be something else, another purpose..I have been married three times, So that ain't it...LOL

Steve Williams said...

Those are the kind of thoughts that creep into my head on a long ride alone. Not sure the answers are ever available and I find it best for me to move on to the next right thing and have faith I am going where I am supposed to.

I'm beginning to think my purpose is the journey and not any of the destinations...

Steve Williams
Scooter in the Sticks