Thursday, November 18, 2010

Fingers and Toes

It's funny how you learn things about people. Things you never thought you didn't know. We were in the car driving back from my daddys first visit to the Oncologist. My dad was talking about how he is more worried about what mom is going to go through than what he is. Upon hearing this, my sister who was sitting in the back seat next to me asked "Mom, is that how you felt when you had cancer?"
"No, when I had it, it was different."
"How so?"
"Well, I had ovarian cancer. It was easy to cure. They just had to remove all my parts. But they made me get pregnant first."
"What do you mean?"
"When I found out I had cancer, they flew us to Germany so I could get pregnant."
I asked "What do you mean? They made you get pregnant? Why?"
"Well, I wanted another baby and it was now or never. They were going to have to remove my ovaries. So, they flew us to go be with your daddy who was stationed in Germany."
That was part of their story I never knew. My mother did get pregnant soon after arriving in Germany. Several months into her pregnancy she began bleeding. She was rushed to the hospital and the doctors informed her that her baby had died. They preformed a DNC and removed the fetus. My mother was heartbroken. Several weeks passed and she returned to the doctor. She told him that she still felt pregnant. They told her she was imagining things and sent her home. She returned again, insistent that she was still carrying a child. The doctor examined her and much to their surprise discovered that she was correct, there was still a fetus in her womb. They were certain that since a DNC had been preformed that the child would be missing part if not all of their limbs and tried to pursue her to have an abortion. She refused. She continued carrying the child for the rest of her pregnancy but in constant worry of the deformities that they child may have. On January 24, 1974 my mother gave birth. The first thing she did when she saw her baby girl was to count all my fingers and toes. Yep, they are all there. :)

They didn't have all the high tech gadgets they have now days. No one even knew she was carrying twins. I sometimes feel an absence in my heart and wonder if it's just me missing the twin that she lost. I must admit that it makes me feel rather special though to know that God must have wrapped me up her womb and protected me from the procedure. It makes me feel as though I have a purpose. I just wish I knew what that purpose was...


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